How weirdly satisfying is "Forbidden Love"?

Friday, January 10, 2014

Anything "forbidden" is delightful. Since the days of Adam and Eve, human race is famous for doing exactly those things which are unauthorized or prohibited. As soon as we develop the minimal sense of understanding between "Do-s" and "Don't-s"...we become desperate to do more of the latter. "Eat vegetables", go unnoticed but "Don"t touch the electric board" or "Don't pull your brother's hair" seems illuminating brightly in front of our eyes till we prove the elders(or, whoever preaches that to us) otherwise. It is almost like the basic instinct(Not the Sharon Stone one though!)of a human being. It is this characteristic that often drives us almost to the edge of the "moral" cliff....and sometimes promptly pushes off it too. Anything prohibited is amazingly awesome to all of us. It's the devil within us that wins...and the taste of the victory of accomplishing it is...just like ' Cadburry Bournville'...not-so-sweet-yet-superbly-awesome. It's like our brains do-not interpret the "do-nots". I know the sentence sounds and reads silly...but it's damn true. Our minds process and filter the "nots" so that we can conveniently do them inspite of being told NOT to.
One of the most important aspects of 'Page 3' news, irrespective of where you live, is the colourful lives of the celebrities around us. They hop and skip from one relationship to another...and we in the meantime, watch their priorities go to and fro, quite akin to that of a tennis match! Let's take the example of the very famous and the most talked about couple of today's times Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. The very sensational duo were not an item till the filming of "Mr and Mrs.Smith" began as the actor called off his five year old marriage with Jennifer Aniston and hooked up with the Jolie girl! During those days, the city of NYC went berserk and it was almost divided into two camps. Camp Aniston and Camp Jolie as fans wore souvenirs of the actresses they supported and our lovely Jennifer won the so called affair-elections beating Jolie on quite a margin. Yet since then "Brangelina" has been one of the most sought after pair in the world of rich and famous....putting the previous Brad-Jen relation to somewhere far in the background.
The most intriguing thing is however not the swift jump from one relation to another. It is the attraction that one feels for somebody else, while already being in a state of commitment. It's the moment before the jump. It's the decision...or the lack of it. It's the feeling of guilt-and-weird-satisfaction combined. It's the happiness and the sadness altogether. I have always wondered how one person emotionally moves apart from another...and at the same time towards someone else....it's all so complex. We human beings stay with one, think of someone else and eventually end up with an entirely different species.Hence, we are all polygamous at psychological level of our minds. The very common reason for this would be the "Stagnation Period" which is generally referred to as the "Mid-Life Crisis" (although I should say, the Mid Life stuff doesn't necessarily point out to a person's age...it more often than not refers to the age of the relationship too.....you can be 20 yet your affair may reach the crisis situation...and for this you don't necessarily have to be 50)....well, back to the topic, it's a very common notion that a relationship reaches it's stagnation stage after sometime and that's when all the trespassing begins. Monotony in bed, life and elsewhere is out-and-out responsible for this. Yet marriages work too....relationships also do. So what is the actual reason behind a failed affair...and why do we think about"calling it quits???"Is it suffocating? Or is it a breath of relief? Or maybe it's weirdly satisfying to do something completely "forbidden"???And if so.... then why?
I think at some point or the other we all need to be truthful about the weirdest desires that we pet in our hearts. No matter how great a relationship is, your mind has groped somebody to the extent of questioning your perfect companionship. There are several theories written about the so called "forbidden affairs" before and after marriage  yet almost all of them fail to justify the human instinct that makes us do it. "Our affair was dull and boring towards the end...", "His friend supported me when he was busy all the time...", "My lover never understood me till that guy came along...." blah blah blah.....In order to cover up our vices, we henceforth put the blames on our ex-es and switch to a new kind of life. We all know what the problem has been and we were somehow a part of it(no matter how little....) People believe, and by people I mean certified shrinks, that doing anything that isn't allowed to you gives you an inane happiness. A victory that inflates your ego like nothing else. Once you snatch the promotion meant for your colleague, particularly unethically, you'll feel like a God. Once you get off the bus without paying the fare...you feel happy.
Morals are good.  But once you break the rules it's weirdly satisfying how addictive it can get. You start feeling like a person you never felt you were ever before. Hence breaking off a relationship, with a little bit of inside help can give you a comfort that's gonna stay with you for a long time. Life has and will always be looked upon as a battlefield. Particularly to men who settle almost everything with their fists, winning in somebody else's territory is the sweetest reward of all. But here I'm not being a female chauvinist, as I completely believe to what extent a woman can go...if she finds "her man" in someone else's. But in-spite of everything....one thing is for sure, that the outsiders won't attack you unless you allow them to. See, History testifies how weak man has been time and again and how fucked up we were for 190 years once we allowed a bunch of businessmen from the West to trade in our country. No matter what or how much a third person tries, he/she will only break the barrier once you decide to bring them down. I mean yes, "forbidden" things are nasty and very provocative but you will not get access unless the people inside allows you. And why do they allow the third equivalent? It's only because they have been doing just the same in somebody else's relationship. Just like the world, and just like Karma, we all lie in a big circular pattern. Our actions, thoughts, decisions everything goes round and round till it reaches the beginning.Hence, the most and the highly probable reason for the end of a relationship will always be due to the additional entry of someone unwanted yet ironically only due to the permission of one of the persons in the couple.
A relationship no matter how, when and under what circumstances was born has the greatest chances of survival.....provided the beings concerned do not get attracted and distracted by the sign....."Trespassing Prohibited." 
Rini Ghosh. 

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