Hickeys. Just another scar or a good boost of ego???

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Being a 90s child, I played extensively with my friends on the fields, at the park and even on the roads circling our houses. Facebook, X-box and Android phones did not invade our lives yet and we were quite happy and complacent with 'hide and seek', 'peek-a-boo' and 'touch and run'. (Some games which are pretty obvious to become obsolete by the time our next generation sees the light of the day) I pity them, really! The times we had on the field near our apartments were perhaps the best days of childhood and in spite of all the brawls and fights, we remained friends, fit and definitely not obese!
But something that I seriously hated the most were cuts, wounds and the eventual scar on the body. Maybe God was pretty sure about my fear and wanted me to get over it, thus giving me plenty of big, small and amazingly-uncanny injuries which in turn and much to His utter disappointment solidified my paranoia about them. One of the worst days of my life was when I stuck my right leg inside a wooden plank, or maybe when a boomerang hit my head from the back or maybe when I hit the bicycle right at the street light....the incidents are endless and exhausting(now that I try to recall). However, the one thing that never cease to amaze me is the fear of the scar that the wound will leave me(or rather on me) and not the pain of the wound itself! Being an outdoorsy kid I am endowed with plenty of them specially on either of my knees and today they are nothing but subtle reminders of my springtime.
So, at 19, why did I boast  about that little pinkish scar near my neck to my girlfriends? Or why did she narrate her whole experience of receiving one right on top of her right boob? And why did Kareena Kapoor flash her not so sexy back with scars of all types running to and fro right before a certain Golmaal movie? Maybe because it is something that we earn...something we flash as a sign of being loved...something that immediately differentiates us from others. And although we simply hate the other hit-and-you-hurt-yourself marks on our body and go to every length and corner to conceal it, we just love the impressions of our lover's teeth and nails which are supposedly proclamations of love!!!
But why is it so? Why do we regard it as a seal or maybe a stamp(not a tramp stamp though)? Why do we suddenly love a wound and cherish it till it leaves our skin(thankfully) Aren't love bites just another scar??? Or maybe they are a sudden boost of ego that takes our average boring selves to a somewhat awesome level. We have suddenly have something to flash around and although it looks red, patchy, swelly (maybe hurting too) we don't stop displaying it! Google itself shows 81,900+ results when you type 'hickeys', which is another name for love-bites and some of the pictures...are really disgusting I tell you! No kidding.
Why do people find so much comfort in it? And while one makes a good social presentation out of it...do others find it equally eye-pleasing or extremely disgusting? So many questions come to my mind yet the subject I'm talking about is so darn petty! Once in a beauty pageant I saw two girls pulling out heavy doses of make up all over their necks and shoulders to hide their hickeys yet at the very same time they simply couldn't stop talking about them, thus drawing the attention of all the other participants(which included me), the make up artistes, and even the show organizers. 
To my shock and horror, I once came upon the ugly truth that even Wikipedia gives an elaborate graphic illustration of "How to Give Someone a Hickey!" Oh c'mon....people dont need to know that! Or do they...?
Is it an art of some sort that needs to be learnt? Out of 5 girlfriends of mine,2 of them have said that they do not like giving or receiving love bites from their respective boyfriends, 2 of them do not miss any chance of displaying them(Thanks to Whatsapp they can send the images immediately) and 1 of them confessed, that her lover may not be proficient enough and hasn't asked him in fear of the truth! If Sex itself is an art, the hickeys is what...a trophy that you can take back home? Why is it so over-rated? And why am I writing the whole thing if it doesn't bother me? Honestly, once I was almost caught by mom when she saw the bruise near my collar bone and after I made a silly excuse I felt victorious, triumphant, on cloud nine!!! A feeling that is as good as getting good grades in an exam in which you studied nothing.
And what does it mean to men? Do they treat it as highly as girls do. I mean I have seen guys showing off their ordinary wounds. But what about hickeys? Or perhaps women are more attracted to sexual scars than men and that's where the show off starts!
Is it at all necessary to eliminate the 'hick' factor from one's love-making session? If its a good boost of ego to some people, why does some consider it as a mark of shame!!! There'll be differences of opinion like any other important-slash-unimportant subjects and people from all kinds of class and society will give all sorts of opinion. Sometimes stating what they really believe and sometimes promptly hiding their actual conclusion. But one thing I would always wonder is the fact that why is it so hyped. Trust me it is. Just ask your friend, your internet or even your shrink...all of them will tell you exactly the same thing! Love bites are way too hyped and discussed even though in a hush-hush way. So what exactly is special about the sex scar which makes it popular even than the activity? Maybe because a large population fails to deliver their partner's expectations on bed and hickeys are just a tiny bit compensation for it. Result? He/She who receives it can walk on the streets with a hell lot of belief that his/her conjugal life is perfect...and hickey is just it's testimony.
Rini Ghosh.

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